An unexpected gift

Nikitha reached hostel at 6.30pm,the border time one should be in. I need a long bath,she thought. Warden was standing infront of the office room,watching every inmates and the exact time they get in.She was a beauty in her 60’s,a pleasent woman.

Hello nikitha,you have a roommate this time. She came for exams.

Is she at room now?

No,she went upstairs to study

Oh that is ok,nikitha smiled at her

I love this warden. I am very happy to see her always,she thought

Nikitha,a working woman stayed in this hostel whenever she came to banglore. Guest room was always available for her when she calls.

Nikitha took the key and opened the door.

Ohh she conqured my bed,nikitha said to herself

Reluctantly she took the other bed

She placed her bag on the table and unloaded the items.she looked at the shelf to place her things. Every row was filled with her roommate’s stuffs.she surely planning to stay not less than 3 weeks. Or does she in the habbit of carrying everything with her?Nikitha wondered.she arranged her roommate’s stuffs confined in a row and vacant the other and placed hers on that shelf.

I must wait here to see her nikitha thought and waited for sometime but her roommate didn’t appear. So she went to the tv room.we cannot call it a tv room,it’s a corridor where a tv was placed. People keenly watching  the new episodes. Nikitha watched the serials every inmates used to see and in the meantime she messaged to her friends.

She went to the room as one of her friends called her she stayed there and talked. During the conversation she noticed the room. Some items were displaced.  My roommate surely had came here. Aww I missed her,she thought.

Unlike before she had a deep interest on seeing her roommate. She eagerly waited to meet her as early as possible.

Nikitha wanted to use hairoil as she was so tired and as a treatment for her minor headache.she decided to ask her roommate once she met her.

She waited again after the call had ended. But her roommate didn’t turn up.

Nikitha came back to the room again when another call had come. On each time she got in,she could sense her roommates entry on everytime time she left the room. There was a displacement of her items on each time. My god I want to see her,nikitha waited.

Suddenly a girl entered the room. She looked at nikitha and smiled.

I know her but how,nikitha thought. You ..you.. I know you , nikitha murmured

Yes I was your roommate. We stayed together for some days, the girl said.

I heard you came here for exams

Yes for MA exams. I am working with electricity board and also doing MA.

Now I remember you,nikitha said. You asked me once which bed was good for sleep, I showed one and you chose the other. You opened the window that day and allowed every mosquito to get in and it was hard to sleep that day…

They both laughed

By the way I couldn’t remember your name

I am betsy

Betsy do you have hairoil with you. I have a mild headache so wanted to cool my head.

Yes I do have

Betsy took the bottle and pored some oil into nikitha’s palm

You know nikitha I was sure that it was you who came for a stay by seeing your belongings

What! How did you know? It was long backi met you and all I have now is something new

I don’t know nikitha but I told my friend that the girl who stayed long back has come without seeing you. After that I saw you watching tv,then I had a double mind and confused.

So you identified me with my belongings and confused when saw me, nikitha wondered

That is right,betsy said

Anyway good to hear that somebody remembers me,nikitha smiled

Betsy had university exam.she arranged every study material on the table and said she has yet to complete the portions

Nikitha laid on her bed watching betsy ,  liking her and smiling when she began to talk after arranging the study material for a supposed study

Betsy, a very humorous   and lively person, listening to her was not a strain; it was a relief, a relief from a complicated life. Nikitha wondered, how could I laugh this much after a very long time? How could I get a light weighted heart within minutes? There was no barrier between them, like close friends meet, they talked.

Every character came to their conversation seemed to be very familiar to nikitha. She enjoyed everything Betsy had shared. She even forgot her headache. She could realize how life became simple for a while when a simple person was near to her. She asked herself, why do I choose this hostel always? Was it because of the low rent, Lovely warden, Simple people with small world around? Everything, she realized.

Nikitha told Betsy to give a break for her endless talk and to show some importance to her next day exam and she went for bath. But she entered the room, screaming. What happened, betsy jumpd out of her bed and asked. I have got periods. I have no pad with me. It was too late. So I thought it won’t come this month. Do you have one?

No, mine was over

I don’t know anubody here. Will you please ask someone?

Betsy came with a packet and handed it to nikitha

I asked my friend. She had an unused pack. Thank god, betsy said.

They slept after 10.30. Before that betsy set an alaram at 7am and told nikitha to call her if she couldn’t makeup in time.

Next morning at 7, nikitha could hear betsy scolding some friend who called her at 4.30am to wake her up for studies as the day was her exam day. Nikitha was in a dilemma whether to call her or let her sleep. Nikitha slept confused.

Betsy wokeup first and got herself busy in brushing, bathing. The room became noisy that broke nikitha’s sleep

Good morning betsy

Hey did I wake you up! Good morning

I slept peacefully, the only place that could give me a peaceful sleep. The repeating mantras, the hot black coffee, the cold underground water bath everything makes me fresh, nikitha thought.

Betsy was seriously reading a book. The last minute struggle. Her exam was scheduled at 1 o’clock. She had planned to go at 10 for hall ticket.

Nikitha called her friend and arranged a meeting at 9. She got ready at 8.30

I am coming back only on Thursday. I have to stay with my friend and have to study the next subjects, betsy said.

Oh I am going back on Thursday morning at 6.30. We are not going to meet again,right?

But the fate had once proved that we meet again, betsy told confidently

Betsy give me your number, nikitha asked as she was not ready to leave all to fath. I will message you whenever I am here and I could inform you when I made a plan to come here.

They shared their number

It is raining outside. How could I meet my friend now? I have no umbrella, nikitha wondered

Ok I will come with you.itisn’t bad to go to college early. They shared a smile.

What I might be doing if she wasn’t there for me? Nikitha thought

They shared an umbrella and walked to the busstop. By the time betsy told about her little pond infront of her house she made for waterplant.

They skipped 1^st bus as it seemed little rush and the other two for no reason. Were’t they skipped busses as they wished to stay together?

They entered a bus which no man could breath properly. Betsy managed to stand close to the window leaning backward. Nikitha stood facing her. They talked about many little things, forget people around.

They enjoyed the togetherness.

My stop is next and yours is after another two, betsy said. I will come again on 24^th of this month,betsy told dropping herself out of the bus, waving her hand and smiling.

The bus was moving. Nikitha looked back at her waving her hand. Nikitha could feel a hollow space in her heart. Is that one I longing to meet?

Nikitha felt the fear of loosing her the whole day.

How was your exam? Nikitha messaged betsy at night.

She slept while waiting for her reply.

Next morning she looked for message eagerly.

 Nothing.

She  wentout with her friend. While having breakfast her moblie beeped.

A message…

Hey I had no balance yesterday. My exam was good.

Nikitha smiled at her mobile.

Why are you smiling, her friends asked.

Hey nothing…

A need of help

I am disturbed of the helpless fearful people who killed themselves while there were many ways to start a new living,a peaceful living they wished to get. The ways are limitted for those who fears. They wouldn’t think of sharing their problems to those who were near to them as teachers, friends, and elders.

I am disturbed of the very little interest the society showing to helpless. They would have still with us if the society could have guided them, shared a hand of help to them.

All dreams a living but forced to destroy. It is too hard to admit that the two school students are no more as they had been abused from their father. An immatured way of ending a problem.what is lacking here…guidance?

We are going through 24 hours a day, 168 hours a week. What all things we could have done for the needy if we had spent just 5 hours a week for them. The change should have surely immeasurable.

I would surely be a part of student awareness programs after few years to help them to comeout of their problems and to guide them the alternate ways to go on otherthan ending the life.

once in a youth festival time

That was my 5^th standard youth festival time.All my classmates were busy deciding the items for participation. Most of them cancelled their selected items due to practical difficulties like practicing and performing.Finally 2 group songs were left from our class in youth festival competition. I wished to enter in any of the 2 groups but they didn’t add me as the groups were already filled. So I decided to form a new group.

 I approached merlin baby,one of my classmate who had shown a motherly affection on me for help. She said she would arrange a song and promised me that she would write the lyrics and hand over to me the very next day. I felt so much happy and thanked her many times and I formed a group of my own with the remaining students who wished to sing like me. We wished to sing , not have any qualification that a singer should posses. We wished that’s it. I gave the name of participants and participating item to the teacher. She asked me ‘who is the leader?’ I said i am with a great pride. So one more group –chinchu susan thomas and party were formed from our class. One more chinchu was there. She was also a leader of another group. So the teacher wrote my full name to avoid judge’s confusion. 

Merlin baby handed over the lyrics and cassette. I learned the song from home and taught my team members. I don’t actually remember who were all my team members. 2 other members inaddition to me had good voice. 

The youth festival day had come. We were ready on the back stage and was listening to chinchu anand’s group performance on stage. That was an excellent performance,they could be the team who won the prize. I felt like fainting and loosing my power. My legs were shivering.my body heat went down. When my name was called for the next performance I lost my vision too. When we moved on to the stage chinchu anand said an all the best.I smiled at her with all the confidence of a singer but my heart beat was countless. I felt thirsty.Nothing could have be done other than singing. We positioned as I told them before. I was standing at the center. The mike was closer to me. We started the song.during the 2^nd half I felt some difficult in singing. My throat became dry. My sound was heard like a disturbing unpleasent noise. We finished it anyway. 

 I saw chinchu anand standing at the back stage. I asked her about our performance. She said it was good but from the 2^nd half portion I heard a noisy sound’. I said ‘ really who was that?,I havent heard such noise’. She said she couldn’t identify the person with a dry voice. I became happy. My wish had succeeded and I decided not to participate in a group song anymore guided by me.

 From next year onwards chinchu anand added me too in her group by god's grace. She never known the fact that it was  my voice that created a disturbance  on stage performance. We were together for national anthem competion too. We got prizes because of her and I got the idea to stop singing when my voice become dry later on and I did moking only. I  kept this  as a secret of my own for years till now.

 My life as a singer ended when my classmate arathi bhargavan’s father,a music teacher made a voice test for all the participants who were going to sing in district level. He did voice test twice on me. He told me that my voice is not good for singing and he said I had pitch problems too. He threw me away.

 When I came back to my class my friends asked me why did you come back from song practice?’. I said I am dispalced. My friends got angry and asked me again ‘how could you displaced?You were also there when your team won the youth festival prize , weren't you?Why they avoided you in next level?’. I said ‘that man was so cruel and he added some other girl instead of me  to hide my pitch problem from my friends. That was the end to my desire of singing. When my friends were talking about doing some tricky play on arathi bhargavan,I was thinking about the next area where i could show my talents. 

first day outside the class

That was my 1^st day in 6^th standard.I was in a happy mood for meeting friends after a 2 months gap.I was wearing a new frock which my big mummy bought from usa,a black coloured with a small white design throughout , with a wide neck and 2 knots on both side of the frock to tighten the dress.When we met,we talked about the letter which meera posted us during the vacation time.She posted the letter to me,keerthy and remya.That was the 1st personal letter we were receiving  so were in an exciting mood to discuss about that letter.During that conversation meera asked me ‘where did you buy the dress?’.I told her about the 2 trolly full of dresses that  big mummy bought fo me.She was wondering and told in general-‘God always gives new dresses to those who have many and not giving to me like poor people.I felt a little uneasy and i prayed him in mind’God please don’t listen to her,give me again’.

We were standing outside.We saw a teacher coming targetting to our class.The last bell to enter the class rang.We entered quickly and i seated at the 1^st side bench.Keerthy was sitting next to me.Meera got into the 2^nd last bench with remya.We didn’t get the time to arrange the space to sit together.The teacher entered the class-‘Good morning teacher’ the whole class wished her.The bell rang for prayer.After the prayer she took the attendance and we were told to keep quiet.Then she started talking about the curriculum we were going to cover that year.She introduced herself as our new malayalam teacher.She was good looking,fair with long hair.Her voice was too noticable that it was so blared.I saw a dark line at the middle of her nose like a boundary line that seperates the wider and thinner part.While i was thinking about how that line formed at the middle of her nose,i noticed her left eye blinking.I told this to keerthy.We together started staring to her eyes.When she walked towards the side bench facing us,we saw her left eye closing while her right eye was looking us.That was the symbol of love for school students.We laughed hiding our mouth portion.The teacher saw us laughing even we covered our mouth portion with hands.she told us to stop laughing.That teacher didn’t like me.She looked at me each time with a dissatisfaction.She might have understood that we were whispering about her.She got seated , asked the class to keep silent and she enterd into some work.I tried to imitate her voice with a purposeful left eye blink.Friends seated near to me laughed ,a sort of satisfaction was there on my face that everybody liked my performance.Teacher looked at our area from where the disturbance was occuring.Without thinking much she told me to stand facing the whole class.Everyone stopped laughing.I got out from my bench and stood infront of the class.Teacher commented on me”Did your parents drop you here due to your disturbance at home?”.Hmm i stood silently.I looked at meera’s bench since i heard a sound from that side.I saw meera’s effort to stop her laughing.She filled her mouth with her handkerchief to control her laugh not to be heard by the teacher while looking at me.Meera liked teacher’s comment on me.A sudden smile came to my face while seeing this.I bent my head.Teacher saw me smiling again.She stared at me from bottom to top and commented’sheesh what a dress’in a funny tone.A loud laugh heard in the class then.That was meera.She lost her control.Her handkerchief jumped out from her mouth,a non stop laughter.Even she was caught she continued laughing as if she was out of control without listening to teacher or the surroundings.Teacher told her to stand outside the class.While standing outside she looked at me,we both passed eachother a soundless laugh with love.

The girl who left an evergreen smile with me

I saw her 3 years back in my mba campus.she was lean with an ordinary looks.it seems like she dipped her hair in a bucket of oil.i could see her eyes dropping sudden looks at every new comers there.she was searching somebody.she might have looking for a friend in her new campus.students there formed certain groups by looking eachother and smiling.this girl also managed to enter in a group and stood with them without satisfaction.her eyes were still searching someone.

On our 1^st weekend everyone around ernakulam got a chance to go home.in my floor i was left alone.this girl was staying down to my floor.she asked me permission to stay with me the weekend nights as she was also alone in her room.that night we talked about manythings...about our family,friends,ex-campus,reason for joining mba after btech etc etc.we haven’t shared our personal matters…no one share it with an unknown.she started talking about her new friends and  told me that she haven’t found anyone interesting.she delivered a bossy talk that night,she shared things she had done in her ex-campus and how important she was among her ex-campus friends.i found that conversation a boring one and i really wanted to sleep.no signs were shown from her side to stop the conversation.i remember how she ended up that talking..she asked me “chinchu am i a normal person”?yes ofcourse i replied.but the thought of the reason why she asked that question disturbed me for a while

Days passed.students reordered their friends group.mba students were staying in 3 floors.this girl was a daily visitor of all the floor.she entered every room ,spent some time there talking about something.she was having a habit of holding others hand on talking.everyone was like affected by an electric shock from a 11kv line when she holds our hand.her hands were like a conductor of electricity.it was that painfull.so as a part of safety measures all of us atarted keeping a safe distance with her.she wanted to become a friend of all groups just like a nucleus she wanted to be the center of many.her brain was that narrow to think like people will start loving her if she is the daily visitor of all floors.her thoughts,wishes,needs,calculations were too short compared to other girls.she was completely unaware of the extras that can attract friends.she was the odd one out in our mba batch.

She got into a group of students who were extremely different from her by all means.she were in a group of 5 .her roommate was a shorttempered girl who earned money by taking lectures for some students.two of them in that group were having a very sharp thoughts.they really wanted to reach heights and now they are the part of a new company.the other member was a pet of all the teachers,a 1^st rank holder.the last member was also a very active cutie ipe.this girl used to sit with them,talk with them,listen to them but i don’t know whether she enjoyed their company

Physically she was the weakest.she got attacked by fever when she saw one of her friend walking in a mid night with her hair loose and laughing loudly.this event was a bit for everyone who likes to mock her

She found someone interesting for her and she badly wanted to be a friend of that mba mate hridya whom she got interested with.she started spending most of her time with hridya.she shared some secrets with hridya to make herself feel interesting . Hridya is already a member of a group moreover she literally doesn’t want to include this girl with her.but this girl kept herslf on trying.

It was the time for our 1^st internship.our project guide,bruce miller wanted us to go outside kerala.everyone was trying hard to get into some company.this girl had arranged the permission to do internship with hridya in a banglore based company via her uncle.that was a full month internship program.all of us were tensed and shared our anxiety of the 1^st time internship.some of them were in a holiday mood since they have already decided to copy paste a finished project.this girl was very excited she had many plans in her list for all the days.she wanted to enjoy a 1 month banglore life with her interested friend.

After 1 month all folks met again in campus.hridya was the one with a tedious experiencethan anyone else.hridya shared something about that girl and only by then we were getting some idea about her.that girl was sleeping the whole time when her company guide taught them.she was quiet uninterested to go outside.she only wanted to go to the company,sleep till the discussions got over,gulp the whole food infront of her,sleep through out the night.she copied some project and wanted to come back home before hridya had actually complete hers

I am someone who loved to do experiment with people.that was a flash of inspiration for my weired experimenting on her.so i started anaysing her.this is what she was from my view…

She used to wake up at 5 then took a bath at around 5:30.everyday she managed to wake up at this time.please don’t think that her whole day is as energetic as her puntuality in waking up.she wore her uniform at 6 for 8 o’clock class and impatiently wait for her friends to get ready to go for food.she took a plate full of food and swallow the whole.i cant actually figure it out where the food she consuming daily were going?she walked to college at sat on her usual place.once the class begins she close her eyes and enter into a deep sleep without even bending her body to the desk.she was really an expert in classroom sleep.when teachers starts to ask question we tried so hard to hide ourself from their eyes.no one escaped from teacher’s  sight except her.how she escaped 2 years like this?was that she escaped or a clear negligence from their side?after she return back to her hostel room she used to study what teachers taught in class.i wonder how she heard the portion they covered?after her studies she visits all the rooms and wanted to know what others are doing in their room.she wanted to get some clarification on her doubtful thought regarding others activities.she wanted to know whether others were studying or not?i don’t know what exactly she is getting after knowing the answer.may be she got some satisfaction after knowing that only she learns daily.she went to bed at 10.this was her daily routine.

One day in our exam hall i saw her sleeping.she still holding her pen and her hands were moving.i pointed her out to others.i couldn’t digest her sleeping at exam hall while others were performing well at exam hall never before to get a pass mark.but for her lecture time and exam time makes no difference.she couldn’t forget her sleep at any cost.she failed for some university exams.the reason for her failure was the low internal marks she gained in 3^rd semester other than her exam hall sleep.she wasn’t able to write some internal exams as she suffered from disease.at that time her father requested teachers to put some more marks.the teachers demanded for a retest and they were ready to conduct it.but she was not ready to write internal exams.she wanted more marks without writing exams.finally she got a low internal marks and so she failed in university exams.

me and my friend started teasing her for her indifferent behaviour.one night during her routine night visits she asked us what we were doing.we told her that we were watching some naughty videos.there i saw some kind of disturbance in her.we started acting her 1^st night,the way she gonna behave infront of her husband with an added poor standard commentary.i saw a fear in her and she was totally out of mind.she ran to her room by  calling us  as ‘mischievous girls’.we laughed with a satisfaction.from that day onwards she think twice before visiting our section

One bright day during her usual sleep at classroom me and my friend threw a paper at her.she was in a deep sleep.she suddenly rose up frightened as if she were hit by a shock wave.she looked around to find who thrown paper to her.her eyes were locked up with us.she delivered an unpleasent  sharp look on us.we havnt shown any sign of a culprit.but she was so sure of the people who disturbed her.she blamed us we gave her an innocent smile as if we were unknown for the reason for her anger.this repeated daily.her anger turned to smile slowly and both parties enjoyed that paper throwing activity inside class room.

I found the boy who called her daily.i started kidding her with the boy name.she told me that the boy is only a good friend of her.but somhow she enjoyed hearing him as her boyfriend.i could see her secret  enjoyment while hearing his name to her

Eventhough night talks were restricted in our hostel some of my collegemates used a spare phone in restricted time.everyone knows those who has the extra phone.one night we faced an unexpected raid because in some phones which we had submitted in teacher’s room were lacking sim cards.teachers raided those student’s room who havent submitted their sim cards.all of us were standing on the coridor to see who all will caught.that girl came towards us and asked to stop teachers from raiding the rooms.we doesnt understand why she wanted to stop raid.she was totally disturbed.when teachers called her name to gave them the hidden sim we came to know that she was also using a spare phone.this news was so surprising.she entered her room and searched for sim card infront of teachers.she kept  searching and searching.she coulnt withstand the frequent questioning of teachers-don’t you know where you kept your sim? Why you are submitting the phone without sim? What is the importance of the rule then?where you kept your spare phone?finally she produced her spare phone and sim.she told them that she wanted to talk to her father at night and that’s why she used a spare phone.i got a new thing to harass her.she was talking to her father using spare phone at night.what a childish lie from an mba student.when we were school students we used to say fever for the reason for a leave,stomach pain when in high school and in higher secondary,grand parent’s death and cousin’s marriage while doing graduation and finally proposed guy’s and his family’s visit to home while doing post graduation.likewise she could have upgrade her standard of lying.

The time has arrived for our 2^nd internship.as she did early she wanted to take hridya with her.hridya flew to banglore with another friend.that girl was alone throughout her project work.the day before the final day of first day of project presentation infront of our principal she showed me her project for a check.i havnt found any facts or figures in her project and that was completely a theoretical one.she has jumped into conclusion without doing any analysis work.i was so sure that her project is not gonna be approved by the principal as he was a facts and figures lover.among the entire students she was the 1^st one for project presentation.all students were present at that day,that was on 23^rd feb 2010.that was my birthday too.i am sure about that day as my mother came to see me at college and i went out to meet her after that girl’s presentation.that girl has neglected my dissatisfaction with her project saying that everyone in the company liked her project.i discussed about the poor quality of her project with hridya and how she neglected my waring.hridya said to me”let her do what she wants you just leave her matter”.that day infront of principal,teachers and students she was humiliated.truley all of us couldn’t control our laugh on how she answered principal’s doubt.principal was also like trying to fool her by using some funny comments on her project.she might asked god to vapourise her for a monent.she will not forget that day for her life time.she simply wrote in the project result that the efficiency has increased and time consumption reduced when she implemented her ideas in dispatching section.the funny thing was that she recommended to unload materials for 2 week production fron the container ship.ie she recommended to unload the company material from ship in a 2 week gap.so she wanted the ship to wait for the company untill the ship get fully unloaded.i coulnt control my laughing when she finished her project with this crazy conclusion.she entered into this conclusion to increase storage space in warehouse.she havnt think about the container ship,unloading and loading charges,additional effort and time.sure she was a crazy girl.i could see her weeping heart after her presentation

Principal gave her 20 days time to redo her project.so she again collected some datas and came before hridya and another classmate to help her.she literally has no idea on what she did, what she could do to modify her project,what is the use of the newly collected date etc. So they tried to put some ideas of their  to help her in modification.she was so crazy that she don’t want to accept  any of their ideas.she stood up in her own lifeless old project.on her 2^nd chance of project presentation principal cancelled her project and decided not to approve her project.she cried before him and begged for a last chance.he alloweded.she seek the help again before hridya and other classmate.she did what they advised her to do without any objection.finally principal approved her project.

I remember her last smile before leaving the campus.’i will contact again’ she promised to all

A few months befor she asked my new number through net chat,i gave her a false number for no reason just wanted to kid her again and i used to message her from my new number in the name of an unknown boy.

Later i wrote something about her in our closed group of mba girls.i got a mail from her after that.that mail was this- “di i read the descriptions of our girls in mba class.....funny....i liked it so much especially mine...

But u had a mistake...i was not such a real character like u saw there in our college..basically  i am fun loving  and  cool
but  some  restrictions in our college disturbs me thats why i was there like that...some times  like every one i got little tensions,thats quite natural... Basically  i am   very  happy, open hearted and  also   jokiest  who wishs to be fun around....anywayz  thankz   4 ur compliments
about  me.......i   enjoyed  it....hi  hi  hii................miss  u.......hope to c u somewhere........................bye bye....................love u
                                                                                                                                        

After reading her mail i badly missed her and mailed her my number.she called me and we talked for 15 minutes.when the call ended up i felt the changes that occurred within myself.for that 15 minutes i laughed a lot… went back to my college memories…the naughty things that i have done there and everything.friends are the ones who made us laugh and that is the energy to live.she helped me to slip back to my deteriorating happiness for a moment.

Yes, she was my friend, my unrealized friend

who has the real love?

I brought my doggy on my laps.Throughout the way he tried to seperate my fingers from my hand.He was that naughty..I fed him, brought him up.He loved to walk wit me and i loved to watch him eating,sleeping.He behavied as if he knows the whole malayalam..Now he is old and i am busy caring my new little doggy.The old one is jealous to new only because he is not getting love..I love to walk wit d new..But the old doggy still wanted to walk wit me..To lay at the side of my foot..He wanted my touch on his head..He is trying to behave like a puppy to regain the attention of his master and to get back his lost cuteness..when i walk  wit my new doggy,the old one impatiently looks us crying and talking in an unclear language... what he was trying to convey? was he wanted to tell me his uneasiness ? was it like this..please let me come with you master..look i am strong enough to walk with you..even now i can forget about all my old age difficulties and walk just before you to make sure that nothing is there on your way that can hurt you..the other doggy is new..he obviously doesn't know to takecare of you as i do..you may get hurt by some reptiles on the way..please let me come with you master...
But once i loose him forever i cant stop crying...
Humans can think a lot...Do we really using this ability of thinking?No..not at all...Humans are living in an artificially created world of their own.They do not want to loose anything and they wanted everything to follow them... did not even listen to things and people who really wanted their presence.
Oh lord please give us a new ability to see life around us waiting for care